Our resident corporate Agony Uncle, CEO Ken Cheng, tackles business challenges – so you don’t have to
Dear Ken Cheng,
What would you say in your automated Out-of-office message?
– Queenie, Fulham
Ken Cheng:
OOO replies are the most insulting thing to receive.
I don’t have to tell you, but when I receive an OOO automated reply it feels like a literal slap in the face, followed by a punch in the stomach and as I fall to the floor, I’m kicked in the head a few times.
If you are not in your office, I don’t want to know.
I don’t need to know.
As far as I’m concerned, you’re always at your desk unless I see evidence otherwise. I have something called “Extreme Object Permanence” where if I no longer have sight of you, I assume you are forever in the same place: the office.
Any time you say you are not in the office, it triggers me.
It makes me think about how my father walked out on us when I was young to buy a “packet of cigarettes”.
He did return hours later that day, but I still felt abandoned.
And that’s how I feel if you leave the office while I’m there: abandoned by my father all over again.
You are basically telling me that I’m a sh*t boss, being in the office sucks and you don’t love me.
Well I can’t truly love anyone who sets an OOO reply. If I see an OOO message I immediately fire them on the spot.
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