Our resident corporate Agony Uncle, CEO Ken Cheng, tackles business challenges – so you don’t have to
Dear Ken Cheng,
Is it possible to be best friends with someone who works under you? Does the power dynamic get a bit weird?
– Linda, Hastings
Ken Cheng:
Think of a motor of a car. Or the battery on your laptop. Or your video game console. What do they all need? Power.
Power is essential to every part of life. Here’s what people don’t want you to know. Power dynamics are what make all relationships work.
My best friend Sam also happens to be one of my employees. A lot of people think that’s weird, but it makes sense.
We spend a lot of our time together in the office, so it makes sense we should call ourselves best friends.
If you’re spending 40 hours a week with someone and they’re not your best friend, isn’t THAT weird? Most say no, but I say, yes actually.
And yes, the power dynamic plays a part. For example, every time I ask to hang out and he says no, I will subtly remind him that there’s a performance review coming up. He then hesitates and agrees to hang out for a bit.
Then, when we’re actually together, if he says he has to leave because of his “sick child”, I mention there are layoffs happening soon. He stays for another hour.
I’m of course joking every time I say these things. Legally, I cannot threaten to fire someone because they won’t play PS5 with me for another hour. However, the ambiguity is what keeps us together.
Would Sam be my best friend if I weren’t his boss? 100% no. That’s why power is a necessary part of friendship.
It’s not a perfect setup, but it is perfect for me. I get all the benefits and none of the downsides. And that’s friendship.
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