Our resident corporate Agony Uncle, CEO Ken Cheng, tackles business challenges – so you don’t have to.
Dear Ken Cheng,
I have noticed in TV shows, women get stressed at work and have to go to the bathroom and splash their face with water. I never seem to need to do this because I love my job. Am I broken?
Sarah, Middlesborough
Sarah. You are not broken. If anything, it’s everyone else that is.
Women going to the bathroom and splashing their face is maybe the bane of my office. I see two to three women do this every hour.
To me, it signals one thing: they are not ready for the high-octane fast-moving world of corporate politics.
And that’s okay.
I have no problem with women who can’t handle the pressure. In fact, I applaud them. You show me a woman crumbling under the unrelenting deadlines and toxic bullying culture, and I’ll show you a heroine of our times.
However, what I can’t forgive is the strain it puts on our water bill. A few splashes throughout the day: fine. Normal. Hordes of manic female employees descending upon the toilets constantly: the pipes simply can’t take it.
Listen, I am an ally and deeply unsexist. I am a male feminist. I even bought a t-shirt that says “this is what a male feminist looks like” and I wear it because all male feminist specifically look like me. Handsome, sensitive, and deeply mysterious.
However, just because I’m a feminist, it does not mean I let women waste gallons of water a day simply to meet their emotional needs.
So no, Sarah, you are a godsend for bosses like me who care about women AND the environment (god forbid a man does both.)
Never ever describe yourself as broken. To me, you are perfect.
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