Our resident corporate Agony Uncle, CEO Ken Cheng, tackles business challenges – so you don’t have to
Q. What counts as grounds for unfair dismissal? I’m getting accused of it but I should be able to fire whoever I want, whenever I want. What do you think? – Sandra, Rochester
A. It is ultimately fine to fire anyone because they are “Bad Vibes”.
I’ve fired several people throughout my life. Some might be considered “fair” and some might be considered “unfair”, but one thing is certain about all of them: I believe I was 100% correct each time.
Certainly, anyone who has ever complained that it was an unfair dismissal has shared one trait. They are all whiny crybabies. Really, what is there to be upset about? Simply losing your entire income source? Grow up.
You wouldn’t sue someone for breaking up with you, so why should anyone be able to sue their boss for exercising their fundamental right to deprive someone of their livelihood.
To avoid all the tears and lawsuits, I’ve just decided to lie when telling someone why I’m letting them go.
One time, I told an employee they were underperforming, when in reality I saw what they had for lunch and it didn’t contain enough protein. Simply put, I think people who eat less protein than me are weak workers, and I could push them over if I wanted to.
I even did my due diligence of looking up their recipes to see how many grams of protein they were ingesting – it was disgustingly low. I could not have that in my office.
As soon as I found a good enough made-up reason to boot them, they were out the door.
Never be afraid to set your boundaries. Mine are you must eat at least 100g of protein a day or you’re back on the streets.
To book Ken Cheng for your event: [email protected]
